June 13, 2014


A little more sore in the morning.  Don't see any blood.  Gaining weight like crazy. But if I don't bother the face - just sit there with my tongue resting on the stent - it does not hurt much anymore.  I think I am gonna be ok.  All this is just an excuse to not talk to anyone and to eat ridiculous food.  I think the chin hurts so much because the doctor also cut off the membrane and sewed it to the inside of the lip.  And that part is not covered by the caulk, so I am really feeling its every move.  Tried eating cottage cheese and chewing it in the back - big mistake!  Of course it got everywhere and I was trying to get it out with my tongue.  Caught myself prying the caulk out - OMG!  Definitely feeling the hot in the back behind the stent - the wound is going back that far.  Tried to brush gently the top row for the first time - made something bleed.  But I think I am healing up pretty well.  I just need this caulk to stay in place for another day, and then I can be a little more "adventurous".  But already can eat jello without the stent. Yay!  Must be the caulk that's making everything taste like plastic.  Cut down on painkillers today again - only took 400 mg for the second dose and 200 mg for the third.

I can't believe I haven't laughed or even smiled in four days.  Been walking around like my mouth is wired shut all this time. Having to drive around with my music off in the car to keep myself from singing along.  Oh well... it is Friday the 13th AND full moon.  Today on the bus I was thinking that I am so unattractive right now that no one else will ever have me.  How is it even possible for someone to be this alone?  I don't want anyone to see me this way.  I don't want anyone's pity.  I am fine. 

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