2018 Monthly Challenge: January

The year of challenges and simplification has only started, but already proved to be a tough one for me. I have to admit - I did not do so well with my January challenge of getting rid of one thing a day every day of the month. While I did get rid of a couple of pairs of shoes, some clothing items, some duplicate kitchen utensils, a few beauty products, some purses and bags, etc., I stopped keeping track after about the 17th of the month, because I seriously have the hardest time getting rid of things just for the heck of getting rid of things. 

Have You Ever Been to NYC?

Happy Thanksgiving! This year I am thankful that I live in LA. Russians have a saying - everything becomes known in comparison (everything is relative). The truth is I was so used to my perfect life that I was completely oblivious to how good I actually had it. I have always deemed Los Angeles to be my dream city and always enjoyed living here. However, I did not fully realize how much I love it, until I visited New York.

26 Facts about the Science of Friendship

This is fascinating.

Fact 9: People who can name three friends who are also co-workers are 96% more likely to
report extreme satisfaction with their life.

How to achieve discipline and moderation

As an INTJ, I am intrinsically motivated.  I do not look for help from outside world to make me want to do things. I have an innate desire to constantly grow. I draw motivation directly from my goals and my vision of myself. I synthesize a strategy and make lists.   

However, since there are three extroverts to one introvert, most of us do require a social aspect to motivation and to keep disciplined. According to this article, "temptation bundling" is the answer to our prayers. 

http://www.bakadesuyo.com/2015/11/stop-procrastinating/

ALLURE: Laughing Power

A simple way to enhance your social life: Share a laugh.

It's known that laughing along with someone makes both people feel more positive about each other, increasing feelings of closeness, attraction, and cooperation.  Now a study has found there is even more of a payoff after the moment is over.  Todd B. Kashdan, an associate professor of psychology at George Mason University in Fairfax, Virginia, and his colleagues collected information from 162 volunteers about their interactions with others over two weeks.  Those who experienced laughter with another person tended to feel "greater intimacy, positive emotions, and enjoyment" in encounters they had later that day with not only that person but also anyone else, the researchers found.  Interestingly, having good feelings for others in the first place did not necessarily make people make more likely to laugh with them.  Laughter may cause people to experience a rise in levels of the hormone oxytocin, which promotes social bonding, the researchers point out.  "Our findings show that laughter benefits more than the person laughing," they conclude.  

Source:  Allure magazine, July 2014, page 84.

I love my Frappuccinos!

So I had to re-blog this infographic.

RANDOM QUOTE: Unknown

- Unknown

Yeah...  sometimes even I have days, when I have to be more titanium than my nose stud...
But that's ok, since most of the time I only have to be sharper than it is.  ;)

The Evolution of Wooing, 1993 - 2013

1993: The world is a cold, heartless place, where, according to the letters, you actually meet and are rejected by chaps in person.

1994: A thing appears on your new office computer that says: “Meet me for coffee.” That thing is an e-mail, and the poetry of its four words—the magic of them!—opens your life forever to the wonder of words on a screen.

1995: Match.com goes live, and you bravely create a profile saying you are looking for a nice guy “with a sense of humor” and receive 1,270 responses. In the first hour.

1996: Best to gloss over the time you visited that chat room.

1997: Wi-Fi is invented, making it possible for you to meet your future second husband at Starbucks in 2009.

1998: You learn the hard way that the more you google a fella you “might be interested in,” the creepier you feel, and the creepier you feel, the pickier you grow, until finally, with the exception of JFK Jr., there’s not a man remaining in America you’d consider going out with.

2001: Auntie Eeee and her sister, Cande, solve the online-dating “cad, wanker, and brainless nincompoop” issue by launching GreatBoyfriends.com, where women recommend their ex-boyfriends to one another. Oprah says it’s the best idea she’s ever heard.

2003: You are courted on MySpace by the lead singer of a band. It is tender. It is sweet. When you fly to see him perform at a Fort Wayne, Indiana, softball field, you discover he’s 15.

2004: Mark Zuckerberg est arrivé. You really gotta love the little bastard.

2005: You excitedly upload to YouTube a video of you salsa dancing with a semifamous reality-show contestant, but since it’s an interminable four minutes long, nobody watches it.

2006: As Twitter debuts, eventually dooming dictators around the world, you stage a coup d’état of someone’s heart with these three simple steps: (1) You follow the attractive person on Twitter; (2) you retweet two or three of the attractive person’s tweets; and (3) you reply to one of his/her tweets with a lusty zinger. (How not to flirt: See Wikipedia, Anthony Weiner.)

2007: You squeal in the grip of the greatest ecstasy woman has ever known when you turn on your first iPhone.

2010: You discover that a tryst with your boyfriend is twice as hot when you’re Skyping with him while on a business trip as when he’s in your actual bed.

2013: Words are dead. You’re now back in the Lascaux Cave, communicating with images via Instagram, Vine, and Snapchat—and your love life is totally happening on Tinder.

Source: 

Ask E. Jean.  http://www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/e-jean-20-years-dating

Happy Xmas!

Oh Christmas in LA!

Will I ever get enough of the 80 degree Decembers and palm trees?  And the tan so golden - people lose their minds trying to guess my race/ethnicity. Priceless!

Hope all your dreams come true as well. XOXO

UPDATE: Currently Craving: High Heeled High Tops

The 08/26/12 Currently Craving is the most viewed post on this blog.  So I know that you remember my search for the perfect high top sneakers.  I wanted them to go with leggings, skinnies, and, of course, with all my fabulous skirts that I wear all the time now, since the weather is always beautiful in sunny California.
Well... perfection does exist...  even if you have to search for it for a couple of years...

It was love at first sight, even though I had to wait for a couple of weeks to order them (since I just bought a tooth.  Yes, all the way down to da root!).

By the way, Currently Craving is now on Pinterest.

A Girl's Girl?

A girl's girl is someone who:

1) Is attractive without being threatening or overly sexy. In other words, she escapes the skank factor. This is a big one. Because most women want to better themselves with friends who will propel them into the next category, without constantly worrying if their spouses secretly lust over their gal pals.

2) Her house is just so. Do I even need to explain this one? No.

3) She wants babies, lots of babies. Or at least, she publicly pines over all things motherhood in a way that rivals only her husband's rabid love of SEC football. Because this, apparently, is the fruition of womanhood. And of course one child is never enough. One child forces her to ask the question, "So when are you going to have another one?"

4) She is smiley. In fact, the probability of being a girl's-girl increases with the size of and the frequency by which you flash your pearly whites. Think Julia Roberts toothiness. She played a prostitute in "Pretty Woman" and still audiences perceived her as wholesome as granny's apple pie every time she bared those mega-watt chompers.

5) She does not have a past. Or if she has an unsavory history, it is one that makes her look enduring in a June Carter, Lifetime movie sort of way.

6) She is good with correspondences: think thank you cards, holiday cards, birthday cards, scrapbook pages, etc...

7) She has a well-stocked purse. Need a tissue/nail file/safety pin/tampon/ironing board/tire iron/vintage off-white cameo pin? This girl has it all in her Kate Spade. Eat your heart out Mary Poppins.

8) She is better than all of your friends in at least one hobby. Bonus points if she is a) a militant jogger or triathlete, b) insane coupon-clipper, c) yoga instructor, d) culinary queen, or e) a combination of two of the above.

9) She looks effortless in ridiculous trends. Somehow she manages to be the one person on earth who doesn't look like bloated roadkill while wearing jeggings and faux-fur wrap.

10) Other girls like her, and she likes other girls. The majority of her friends are other women (mostly) like her. Because girl's-girls tend to attract one another.

Source: 

La Literati: A Girl's Girl http://christeenefraser.blogspot.com/2010/11/girls-girl.html

Houston, we have a problem...

A recent study by CreditDonkey found that 41% of Americans have less than $500 in savings. And 76% of us are living paycheck to paycheck. 

Source:
LearnVe$t http://www.learnvest.com/2013/08/youll-never-believe-how-much-i-saved-and-how/
Credit Donkey  www.creditdonkey.com/no-emergency-savings.html

Is white a color?

If your favorite color is white,

• You are neat and immaculate in your appearance, in the presentation of your home and in your car, almost to the point of being fanatical.
• You have impeccable standards of cleanliness and hygiene and you expect others to adhere to your high standards.
• You are far-sighted, with a positive and optimistic nature.
• You are well-balanced, sensible, discreet and wise.
• You are cautious, practical and careful with money.
• You think carefully before acting - you are definitely not prone to impulsive behavior.
• You tend to have a great deal of self control.
• You are confident, poised and self-assured when at your most positive, but can also be very choosy and fastidious when the mood strikes.
• You can be very critical of yourself and others (in your need for perfection) - but you try to be fair and impartial as well.
• You are self-sufficient and a loner - you don't want or need help from anyone. However, you may also experience times of loneliness because of this trait.
• You may be wishing to create simplicity in your life - perhaps a wish to re-create your childhood, lost youth and happier times in your past life.
• You can be quite sexually prudish with your need for self-control and perfection.
• You hide your flaws from others to give an impression of perfection.
• You may appear to be shy, but you do have strong beliefs about most things and love the opportunity to air those beliefs.
• The challenge for you is to be open-minded and flexible and to communicate your needs and desires.

Strangely, all of the above is true about me.

Source: Empower yourself with color psychology.  http://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-white.html

RANDOM QUOTE: Unknown

RANDOM TIP: The Girl Code

www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/e-jean-girl-code

I love E. Jean.  Almost as much as I love Judge Judy.  Brilliant. 

• Never stay silent when a friend is falling for an asshole.
• Never favorite a best friend’s bon mot. Always retweet it.
• Never trust a girlfriend who dates a married man.
• Never refuse to write a recommendation for the offspring of a friend (no matter how big an idiot the kid is).
• Never steal your friend’s thunder at a dinner party—when she’s on, give her room! Pound the table! Bang your glass with a spoon! Laugh the loudest at her story!
• Never give your friend’s business four stars on Yelp. Always give five.
• Never agree when a friend says she’s flabby, baggy, saggy, lumpy, floppy, veiny, squishy, scrawny, etc., etc. Tell her to shut up. Tell her life is too short. Tell her to eat, drink, and be merry. And finally…
• Never treat other women disrespectfully: It gives men ideas.

Ladies, let's come up with a few more. 

www.elle.com/life-love/ask-e-jean/e-jean-girl-code

STYLE by Kate Spade

What is fashion? What is the definition of “fashion”? Is there a difference between "fashion" and "style"? What is style?  What is the definition of "style"? Fashion is what you see in the magazine or on runway.  Style is how you interpret fashion, how you make it applicable to life, how you translate it into your wardrobe.

The new book I dug up in my neighborhood library is “STYLE” by Kate Spade.  Theoretically, I have always liked Kate Spade design. And this book is up to par. It is organized in a very capricious manner with drawings instead of photos as most fashion books fashion.  It is written in blurbs and includes information that Kate must have deemed to be helpful (such as size charts, how to care for the cashmere that I will never be able to afford, etc.). Things of note are the facts and quotes at the bottom of pages.

Don't get me wrong – I will not be following Kate’s advice anytime soon.  I mean you will not catch me wearing any vegetable necklaces or packing candles into my carry-on.  However, I really like the way she talks about style and how she has appears to have a solid grasp on the concept.  Her husband appears to be not far behind either.  Below are the things that will give a feel for the book. 

It is as much about being seen as it is about seeing. 

Always gracious, sometime irreverent STYLE.

Sometimes what you can’t see is far more revealing.

Style is innate.

True style comes from opening yourself to the world around you – to the books and movies, to art, to music and travel, and especially to other people.

Your personality is uniquely expressed through your choice of accessories. It’s the easiest form of self-declaration. Pg. 68

Sunglasses have an amazing style quotient – there is something strong and mysterious about them.  Pg. 76

Hats is just the thing for adding wit and personality. Pg. 78

Style is:

• a sum of so many things – beginning with a sense of who you are and having a self-confidence.
• wearing what makes you happy.
• following your own rules.
• clarity.
• owning pieces you cannot wait to wear.
• a little like mercury: try to put your finger on it and it moves.
• becoming aware of what makes you feel most yourself out in the world. Pg 53

Other concepts in the book that I adore:

• Pre-set color combinations (although I do not agree with most of Kate’s suggestions)
• Finding your own classics
• Being your own style guru
• Stylish movies
• Wardrobe ABCs

Craig's List Wisdom?

So here is another of his pearls.

LA Dating Cliche - m4w - 36 (LA)You know what I love most about reading dating profiles in LA? They're predictable. Now, I know you ladies might not be aware because you're probably not checking out a lot of women seeking men profiles, so let me try to enlighten you in the two minutes worth of attention I have here before you roll your eyes, do one good hair flip and move on...
It starts like this: I'm not your typical LA type. I am from, or spent significant time in, New York. I moved here for the sunshine and my career. I like some combination of the following: hiking, yoga, Runyon Canyon, social cause X, reading Sedaris/Palahniuk/Murakami, listening to Arcade Fire/Mumford and Sons/The XX, farmer's markets, Whole Paycheck Foods, and Wes Anderson movies.

Now, since EVERYONE has written the same thing, it's hard for me to see exactly how you're not the typical LA girl. And let me continue, just to see if the shoe really does fit.
You've traveled a lot because, after all, your parents' generation didn't work so hard for you to get barefoot and pregnant at 22 and you now feel that "seeing the world" has given you more life experience and credibility. Maybe you've even ventured into "third world" territory, which you can now wax poetic about over $20 martinis.

You think voting Democrat somehow shows you're a compassionate humanitarian, thinking that the difference between them and Republicans is chocolate-vanilla, when even a cursory analysis will reveal more of a dark chocolate/light chocolate contrast. You say that you love animals, despite the fact you claim "ownership" of them, give them human names, and often dress them in human clothing. Really, you've just anthropomorphized them and they are merely filling the childless void in your lives. 

Despite your proclaimed activism in the cause of social issues, you have an unnerving amount of products produced by Apple -- one of the most egregious operators of evil, pseudo-enslavement of peoples in developing nations. Also, just one of the little social events you've been to in the last month could've financed a permanent system of potable water for an entire village.

Your idea of unconventional is so... conventional. And contrived. Look, you can buy a nice faux bohemian lifestyle, you can buy a "green" eco-friendly car so you feel less guilty about those plane flights back to the East Coast, but you can't buy self-awareness. And that is what you lack the most.

Trust me, no one is happier than me that freedom of speech is a constitution right.  But does the constitution also grant one the right to judge and be hurtful to others? Doesn't it also grant others the right to be themselves? Even if all that means is to be fake or to follow the herd?

Moreover, why does one feel so compelled to voice his opinions?  Is that because he is of such high opinion of himself, that he believes that everyone is interested in his opinions? Hopefully, it is only because he's been hurt by the world too much, and this is his defense mechanism.  

Finally, why would anyone want to burn LA?  I am in love with this fabulous city!

Craig's List Wisdom: What does it really mean "to be yourself"?

I have a confession to make.  I am a Craig's List junkie.  I roam mostly the "missed connections" section though. I think I am secretly hoping that someone is looking for me.  My Prince Charming on a white horse, I suppose.  Better yet a white Aston Martin.    ;-D  

Most ads, of course, are pure rubbish that is synthesized in the minds of the herb-smoking 90% of LA population. However, once in a while one comes across a curious post that makes your brain cells wiggle around a little.  And it goes like this:

Where is My Mind? - m4w - 36 (LA)I've recently heard a spate of declarations such as, "I just need to find out who I am." Or "I need to find myself." And even, "I don't even know who I am yet." All of which did honestly remind me of myself 10 or 15 years ago. But I think the question of who you are, or who I am, takes on a different meaning now than it did then. So, let me dissect this question.I ask, who are you?

Almost immediately I will get a list of likes and dislikes. I hear virtues and beliefs spouted forth; a firing away of occupations, skills, accomplishments, life events. Okay, so I now know some things you like, some you dislike, a few of the major beliefs you hold, and some of the things you've done. Now, again I ask, who are YOU? What is the YOU that you set off to find?

So, the easy answer is that each individual is the sum of all of those parts. BUT. . . but if I like what you like, believe what you believe, and do what you do, we'd all agree that I am not you. I am still me, and you are still you. None of which helps to further define who YOU actually are.

I find it rather amusing that so many people spend so much time trying to "be who they are." You hear this all the time. "I just wanna be myself!" So, people will go to extreme lengths to "be who they are." Hair color, piercings, designer clothes, customized cars, tattoos, music tastes, group association -- all of this to help you just be you, apparently. But you still can't define who YOU are. We'll all agree that even if I look like you and talk like you and act like you. . . I'm still me. We just can't seem to define what ME is. But it's definitely not YOU.

"Just be yourself" -- as if it's a concrete thing, like a rock or a table. Or maybe it's a puzzle that one feels they have to solve, putting all the pieces together into a whole picture. But where did the pieces come from? Are we discovering these pieces randomly on the ground as we wander through this world? No, the pieces are simply things you've been told. You're beautiful. You're smart. You're capable. You're going to be X when you grow up. 

Your parents have told you who you are, or more aptly, who they want/expect you to be, since day one. And coming out a blank slate, you've assimilated that into your identity. Your teachers added on to that, assessing your skills. You're good at math. You have such an aptitude for language. You're going to be a beauty queen. None of these things are inherently true but you've been told, thus you act accordingly.

If only I was smart. Who says you're not? The term has been ascribed to you by others, based on a comparison between you and your peers, usually assessed through a series of tests or benchmarks. The interpretation of the results is entirely presumptive. If you were the only person in the world, you wouldn't even think to ask whether or not you were smart. Nobody would have brought it into question. You either build a fire or you don't. You either climb a mountain or you don't. But to internalize a permanent identity trait based on possibilities and probabilities requires others to put the idea in your head.

The simple fact is, there are no universal truths as to the formation of the self. It is purely a human invention. Any definitions or limits we place on the concept of a self are of our own creation. The universe, or the principles of physics, or the patterns of motion do not acknowledge our self. There is no interaction between our identity and the world around us, only perceived interaction within our own consciousness. Your feet move upon the ground, your mass moves the particles in the air, but whether you envision yourself as a bear or a dinosaur is completely irrelevant to the world around you. The vision of yourself in your own mind is entirely illusory.

If the self is but an illusion, that creates a myriad of problems for a civilization. If we simply wander as individual self-images, each in our own cocoons, then communication and cooperation become difficult. So, to foster a productive and progressive society, there arises the need for a collective illusion -- a set of common values and beliefs that can support the illusion of the individual selves. This also serves to alleviate the anxiety that is created by being adrift on an endless, formless sea.

Now, if a society is going to build a grand illusion that all its members can believe, it is best to do so with positive ideals. "Land of the free, home of the brave," for example, as opposed to "land of the enslaved, home of the cowardly." So, every culture will try to engender positive self-images, even though, again, these are entirely equivocal and arbitrary. And, as these self-images are based on comparison, the unfortunate tact is to say "we're number one." I have yet to go to a country where a political rally was held where people chanted "we're number two."

Just as our image was built by parents, friends, and teachers, now the politicians and media will attempt to add their pieces to our puzzle by adding collective adjectives on to our identities. We are the smartest. We are the most productive. We are the good guys. We are the fairest, the most just. Of course, none of these statements are inherently true, but the notion in play is that constant reinforcement will produce belief. Then, later down the line, the reverse can be used as motivation when you want people to do something. Aren't we the smartest? Aren't we the good guys? Aren't we number one? Well, now that you've egos have been constructed, they will want to defend against any attacks. History is full of people doing the most horrible, egregious acts in order to defend their own self-image, not matter how contradictory those acts are.

The advertising industry and, indeed, practically every consumer-based economy thrives on this principle of positive and negative reinforcement on self-image. There are two basic ways to get people to buy your product. You can use the positive model -- because you are good/right/smart/beautiful, you will want this. Or you can use the negative model -- if you don't want this, you will not be good/right/smart/beautiful. It really is as simple as that because of the deep-seeded anxiety that comes about from not being able to clearly define our own consciousness, our own self.

When people are faced with ideas that contradict their own beliefs they experience cognitive dissonance, which produces great anxiety arising from the fact that we don't actually know much about ourselves or the world around us. So, no matter how convincing the evidence, people err on the side of protecting their own self-image. A lifetime of reinforcement from parents, from teachers, from friends, from political leaders, from religious leaders, from television, movies, music, books -- it doesn't stand a chance against one or two statements that go against all of that. The ego has fortified itself with defenses and the brain will simply tune out any messages that substantially contradict foundational beliefs.

Throughout the entire course of human history, people have subscribed to ideas, actions, and ways of life that are subjective, relative, and utterly devoid of any empirical meaning. People would rather believe a lie that makes them comfortable than to accept a truth that makes them uneasy. After all, we've been conditioned to view unease as a bad thing, something that is undesirable, even though what is desirable is, for the most part, just another chunk of the grand illusion.

I might as well get this out of the way so as to not terribly disappoint anyone. I have no grand answer awaiting anyone. But maybe, stripping oneself of all such trappings above, in the diamond mind behind your eye, in the quiet of a darkened room, you will begin to get a glimpse of who YOU really are.

How do you define "being yourself"? 

What does it mean to you? 

Is it a constitutional right? One of the granted freedoms?

Is that what "the Catcher in the Rye" was doing? Just being himself?

I'd like to think I am a bitch because I don't compromise my standards.  But there do my standards come from?  How much power do I really have over defining them?

How do you define yourself?

RANDOM QUOTE: Bob Marley

So excuse me, if I refuse to settle for anything other than perfect.  :P

Da Perfect Woman?

I love to read.  I read a lot.  At any given time I am reading something. For example, right now I am reading a very curious book - "Why Do Men Love Bitches" by Sherry Argov. I have never had a "self-help" book captivate me this much.

One thing I really like thus far is her definition of the societal label "bitch".  A bitch is "an empowered woman who derives tremendous strength from the ability to be an independent thinker".  Sherry also provides ten characteristics that define a bitch:
1.   She maintains her independence.
2.   She doesn't pursue him.
3.   She is mysterious.
4.   She leaves him wanting.
5.   She doesn't let him see her sweat.
6.   She remains in control of her time.
7.   She maintains a sense of humor.
8.   She places a high value on herself.
9.   She is passionate about something other than him.
10. She treats her body like a finely tuned machine."

Throughout the book Sherry also uses other expressions to define her perception of a "bitch":

• kind yet strong;
• a strength that is ever so subtle;
• will stand up for herself;
• knows what she wants, but will not compromise herself to get it;
• flowery on the outside and steel on the inside;
• uses her femininity to her own advantage;
• plays fair;
• has the presence of mind to not be swept away by romantic fantasy;
• remains cool under pressure;
• knows when to pull back and stop giving;
• she is a mental challenge;
• has an edge;
• lives by her own standards;
• places high value on herself;
• capable of holding her own in a relationship. 

Hmmm... I don't think I mind being a bitch at all.