July 7, 2012

LA Strange: The Good Life

It has been three months since I arrived.  I guess I should write more about my fabulous LA life.  Such stories as:
-          How you can spend more time searching for a certain pop art photography exhibit online than actually enjoying the exhibit…

-          Or how I am still trying to figure out where to store all my fabulous shoes on the three square fee that Los Angelinos call an apartment…

-          Or how I spend more on parking at the mall than on all my purchases together…

-          Or how you can spend less on a brand-name brand-new tuxedo jacket at your neighborhood Goodwill than on getting it dry cleaned…

-          Or how people draw penises on your dusty car windows…

-          Or how workers at the car wash are so lazy, you get tired just from watching them and just do it yourself.  At least that gives you an excuse not to tip…

-          How I hunt roachers naked in my bathroom…

-          Or about how even water tastes better in LA…

-          How you can spend half an hour in an attempt to find a parking spot on a Saturday afternoon and then still end up leaving, cuz really you don’t need to buy anything there THAT bad…

-          How it is theoretically possible to spend more on CRV for a case of water than on water itself…

-          How some guy was tripping out about my fabulous shoes in the elevator all the way from the 7th floor to the 1st

-          How men are more of caricatures and cheap polaroids than framed art…

-          Or about how you can buy just about everything at a dollar store – even beer…

-          How every single man in the store has to comment on how good my legs look during my Saturday morning grocery shopping trip…

-          How all the shelves in my closest ghetto Wal-Mart are always empty, regardless of when I come there…

-          How your GPS purposefully sends you cruising around on the longest route, probably because it secretly has no idea where you are at…

-          How you cannot take shopping carts out of the store without police escort…
Despite all that…
Every time I walk out on the street, I smile as the song pops into my head…
This has gotta be the good life.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Feel free to take advantage of the First Amendment.