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How you can spend more time searching for a
certain pop art photography exhibit online than actually enjoying the exhibit…
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Or how I am still trying to figure out where to
store all my fabulous shoes on the three square fee that Los Angelinos call an
apartment…
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Or how I spend more on parking at the mall than
on all my purchases together…
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Or how you can spend less on a brand-name
brand-new tuxedo jacket at your neighborhood Goodwill than on getting it dry
cleaned…
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Or how people draw penises on your dusty car windows…
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Or how workers at the car wash are so lazy, you
get tired just from watching them and just do it yourself. At least that gives you an excuse not to tip…
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How I hunt roachers naked in my bathroom…
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Or about how even water tastes better in LA…
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How you can spend half an hour in an attempt to
find a parking spot on a Saturday afternoon and then still end up leaving, cuz
really you don’t need to buy anything there THAT bad…
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How it is theoretically possible to spend more
on CRV for a case of water than on water itself…
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How some guy was tripping out about my fabulous
shoes in the elevator all the way from the 7th floor to the 1st…
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How men are more of caricatures and cheap
polaroids than framed art…
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Or about how you can buy just about everything at a dollar
store – even beer…
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How every single man in the store has to comment on how good my legs
look during my Saturday morning grocery shopping trip…
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How all the shelves in my closest ghetto Wal-Mart are
always empty, regardless of when I come there…
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How your GPS purposefully sends you cruising
around on the longest route, probably because it secretly has no idea where you
are at…
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How you cannot take shopping carts out of the
store without police escort…
Despite all that…
Every time I walk out on the street, I smile as the song
pops into my head…
This has gotta be the good life.
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