Warning: this is a tragedy. Actually, more of a horror story - stop reading now if you were expecting a comedy. Also, stop reading if you do not want to see any gruesome pictures. I know no one cares, but sometimes you just want to complain about how unfair life is, even if no one is listening.
The story starts with my pushing down the final pieces of carrots and zucchinis into a food processor. The day ended with my cursing my fucked up life. In between there were:
The horror of digging out the pieces of my flesh out of the food in the food processor bowl.
Fainting twice, apparently hitting my head somewhere in the process - the fact that was not discovered until I started getting horrible headaches the next day, which still have not gone away.
Waking up practically in a pool of blood.
Finding some supplies to stop the bleeding. That was a miracle, because the only thing I have in my “medicine cabinet” is expired hydrogen peroxide.
Calling the doctor's office and being told in screaming horror to go to ER.
Calling an urgent care and being put on hold for what seemed like an eternity in the moment.
Calling my insurance to find out which locations were “in network”.
Dressing myself.
Getting blood all over the place.
Driving to the ER behind the slowest person ever existed.
Not being able to find parking close enough.
Running with my hand up to the ER gates.
Getting attacked by sarcasm, when seeking comfort.
Trying to figure out how to wash my face with one hand.
Attempting to fall asleep with my hand up in the air - to minimize swelling and to keep it from throbbing.
The story still has not ended. Will it ever?
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