Fingertip Amputation: Did you know?

I bet there are a few things you do not know about fingertip amputations. Rejoice - I am here again to enlighten you. 

Fact 1: They do not re-attach or even try to do anything if the cut is above the first knuckle. 

Fact 2: You will get to watch the ER doctor nonchalantly throw pieces of your flesh into the trash. 

Fact 3: For $3,000 there will be no stitches, no antibiotics, no painkillers, not even a word of empathy, except maybe “you seem calm”. Only a printout about fingertip amputation. 

Fact 4: It takes 7 people (not counting the security guard) to basically wrap a shit load of gauze around what’s left, say “you will just have a stump for the rest of your life” and send you home. 

1. The check in person. 

2. The nurse in the hall between the waiting room and the main ER, who asks you questions about your allergies, etc. 

3. The technician in the same hall, who insists on taking X-rays, even though nothing will be done based on X-ray results. 

4. The doctor, who looks at the stump and announces that nothing will be done, but also insists on taking X-rays. 

5. The nurse, who gives you the tetanus shot. Also, the only person who asks about your emotional state and well being. Thank you, ma'am.

6. The nurse that sprays warm water from a giant syringe over the stump and awkwardly wraps enough gauze around it to cover an actual tree stump. 

7. The person, who takes your personal and insurance information, the snootiest one of all. 

Fact 5: The ER doctor is a contractor, not a hospital employee. Thus, even if the hospital you go to is covered at “in-network” rate by your health insurance, the possibility is high that the doctor is “out of network”. Yes, the bills will be coming and you will be constantly on the phone for weeks, trying to figure out which bill is for what and what rate is supposed to apply to it.

Fact 6: You will be up to date on your tetanus shots. 

And just in case you wanted to know the whole story - FTA: Day 0.